What to do if One Spouse Does Not Cooperate With Mediation?


When most couples divorce, they keep their eyes on the endgame. They may already think about where they want to live once they sell the house or how they will refinance their car following divorce proceedings.

The state of Colorado requires all couples to go through mediation before proceeding with the divorce. That does not necessarily mean your spouse will go through the mediation willingly. He or she may put up a fight, and it is vital to know how to deal with this kind of spouse.

Clarify some misconceptions

One reason some people are hesitant to go through mediation is that they think the spouse and mediator will gang up on them. It is vital that you clear this up. The mediator is an objective third party. The mediator’s job is to find an equitable and fair division of assets and lead the discussion in a productive manner. The mediator will not take a side, so your spouse will get as much out of these meetings as you.

Ask friends and family members to intervene

You may not be able to get through to your spouse during this time. All divorces are different. If on particularly bad terms with your spouse, then you may want to ask your spouse’s friends and family members to have a discussion with her or him. You may not be able to get through, but others can. Your spouse may not believe you when you say the mediator will be objective. Your spouse likely trusts other people, so you should reach out to see if they can lend a helping hand.

Do not give into bullying

One reason your spouse may be reluctant to go to mediation is to intimidate you. Your spouse may want to get more out of the divorce and try to get you to forego mediation. You should not have to deal with this bullying.